Why Am I Emotionally Eating?
What I am going to talk about today is why am I emotionally eating? This was a question that came up from somebody. When I coach on the subject why am I emotionally eating that phrase right there is a thought. We find it to be something that is so true and we feel like it’s unchangeable right? We feel out of control. We feel frustrated. All the things come up when we question why am I emotionally eating. For me personally, I never thought of myself as an emotional eater until I started doing this work. I thought the reason why I couldn’t lose weight was just because that I was a mom. I know after I had Sebastian. I gained quite a bit while I was pregnant. 50 pounds. I was only able to lose like 30lbs a year into him being born. I still had another 20 pounds to lose to just get back to my pre-baby weight. I remember thinking to myself I’m just a mom. Now there! That’s the reason why I couldn’t lose weight. When it comes to height, weight, and PTI just wanted to get to where I needed to be. I thought to myself that it’s always going to be a struggle. I remember being in that place. I remember where I was and what I was doing at the time and thinking that I wasn’t able to change it. It wasn’t until I discovered coaching that I was able to latch onto a particular diet that I did for my local area for a chiropractor that I used to work for. When I did that diet it was what I would personally say was very restrictive. It was also very effective. If it wasn’t for the mind piece of coaching, I really don’t think I could’ve followed that program though to a T. I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it.
I didn’t realize how much of an emotional eater I was until after I hit my goal weight. I was in the maintenance phase when I got to that maintenance phase that’s when I discovered like okay I’m frustrated because my kids throwing a fit, or I’m angry because my husband won’t do this particular thing, or all the things that would lead me to emotionally eat. Even shame and embarrassment from something makes me want to go and emotionally eat. The question why am I emotionally eating? You have to ask yourself what are you thinking? Whatever the circumstance is. So, for me, if it’s my kids throwing a fit at Disney World. It’s not the fact that my kid is throwing a fit that makes me go want to have that cream cheese pretzel. I wrote about this quite a few years ago. I remember it exactly when I realized, like hey, I’m emotionally eating. Here, I’m wanting to emotionally eat. I remember Sebastian is a terrible sleeper. I’m sure there are moms out there that can totally relate to that. He doesn’t like to nap. He doesn’t like to go to bed at night. He still will wake up early no matter what time he goes to bed at night. We were at Disney World and we are up at a pretty early time to get to Magic Kingdom and it was time for a nap. He was throwing such a massive fit said it was hot out. He was probably still little bit hungry. Because you know how kids are. They don’t like to eat their lunches. He didn’t want to nap, and he was throwing a huge fit. I remember thinking to myself, okay you’re not being a terrible mom. In a situation like your kids throwing a fit that’s the fact. You can either make it mean about yourself that you’re a terrible mom because you have him out in this heat, you have them hungry, trying to get them take a nap, and he won’t do it, or you can just think he’s being a two-year-old. When I was thinking I was being a horrible mom for having him in the circumstance, I had him and I wanted to go eat that cream cheese pretzel.
When I could self coach myself in that moment and intervene between the feeling of that frustration, and feeling like crap, feeling like a terrible mother, and intercepting the action of going and getting the cream cheese pretzel. I would self coach myself so was I making it mean I was a terrible mother.
When I could analyze that, and decide no your kid is just being a two-year-old. You’re not being a terrible mother then I could change my feeling to more compassion and that compassion then led to me trying to make him more comfortable. I put a fan on him. I made sure he had his blanket. Made sure he was reclined. Just made sure he was a little bit more comfortable while he was throwing this temper tantrum right before naptime. Instead of going in, reaching for that cream cheese pretzel, because the cream cheese pretzel wouldn’t have did anything. Because my kid was still throwing the temper tantrum was a fact. In the moment, I would’ve thought that that cream cheese pretzel would have made me feel better. In the long run, it would make me feel worse. It would probably trigger a migraine because I have that gluten sensitivity. It would’ve meant that Sebastian would’ve cried longer. I would beat myself up because I gained more weight. Whatever the case may be. The answer is never to have that emotional eating be a long-term solution for anything. In the moment, our brain on autopilot thinks that this is the solution to the problem is to eat. Reality when you look at the prefrontal cortex it’s saying, “No that is not what you should be doing. Let’s take a look at what it is you really want to be doing.” With the question, why am I emotionally eating? I want you to ask yourself what am I thinking that’s causing me to emotionally eat. Even in the present day situation, if Sebastian who has severe separation anxiety right now is asking me 100 times, in a day, “Mom, where are you?” Even though if I’m in the bathroom right next to the living room. He will scream out, “Mom where are you?” Instead of coming in looking for me or just having a little bit of patience like literally the minute I leave the room he screaming mom where are you. This goes on all day long and by the end of the day, I’m ready to lose my mind. I can feel myself want to go reach for something in the pantry, like gummy worms. Something quick and I can easily analyze that like okay you’re feeling annoyed, your frustrated, right now. That is the reason why you want to go reach for those gummy worms, that’s the reason why you’re wanting to emotionally eat. It’s not because your kid is asking you a question, but it’s because of the way you’re thinking about it. What I’m thinking in that moment, when he saying mom where are you, I’m like oh my gosh, really for the 90th time you are asking me where I am to come and look for me. Then what do I make that mean about myself that he is asking me this question. Why is it making me frustrated? When I think about it, it probably relates down to, I’ve done something wrong. He has a separation anxiety. I could’ve done something better. I’m being a terrible parent because we haven’t been able to fix this issue and that is was making me frustrated. The thought that I am doing something wrong. Not that he’s asking the questions, but I’m doing something wrong. I’m frustrated with myself and that’s what makes you want to go eat those gummy worms or gummy bears. Whatever we have in the pantry at the time. So, if you can just pause and have the strength to pause or intercept that feeling from the action of overeating you will discover the reason why you were over we eating. Just by asking the question, why am I feeling this way right now? What am I making it mean about myself that’s making me feel this way? That is what is leading to the overeating. If you can intercept it, you can prevent overeating and the result that you get comes from your reason for overeating and weight loss right. I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode and I hope this gave you little bit of insight into why you were overeating and how you can prevent it for the future so that you can ultimately lose weight. I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode
I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode. For all my military mommas I have already created half of my six-month program. I’m down 19 pounds since I first started I was 147 after having my daughter and so in four months I’m down to 129 and already passing height weight and PT. I am so happy to report that I’m passing all my events within the time that I need to do it. My next goal is to actually do a PT test from start to finish in order to make sure that I have enough endurance to pass the PT test all at once. I’ve opened up a few more spots for one-on-one coaching if you are ready to lose the weight and stop struggling with your PT test once and for all. You can email me at Angie@Angiegross.com and sign up for a free mini session with me. I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode and I will talk to all soon.